THE DAY MAMA WENT TO POT
It always starts on Monday.
Let me tell you what this means.
She’s really in a hurry.
Was it the sauerkraut or the beans?
She sets her mind in that direction,
knows it’s nothing or it’s all.
But the minute that decision’s made,
she hears the door close in the hall.
She stands in twisted torment,
and tears began to flow.
And by the time the bathroom’s empty,
she doesn’t have to go.
It’s like that every morning,
and if you’re good at math,
you can figure out that Thursday
is when grandpa takes his bath.
She hears the water running,
hears him splashing in the tub.
An hour or so goes by—
it isn’t long—but here’s the rub:
she hears her innards grumbling
and sweat begins to flow.
But when at last he’s finished,
she doesn’t have to go.
It won’t come out at noon,
and it won’t come out all day.
But she always has to go again
when the kids go out to play.
Now’s the chance to go ahead
and try to get it done.
She locks the door then suddenly
everybody’s on the run.
But she tenses up her muscles
while in her heart she knows
she’s really put it off too long.
Now it’s hard for her to go.
She sits in perfect misery
and listens to the roar
of every family member
as they try to budge the door.
She doesn’t know what makes them guess—
can they really read her mind?
They’ll be six houses down the road
when someone yells,
“Come on gang . . . it’s time!”
Now Mama’s getting nervous
and she begins to moan
as someone hollers through the door,
“You’re wanted on the phone!”
But as she lives and breathes,
there always comes a day
when she tries but really can’t—
the urge has gone away.
Will she have to take a physic
or maybe drink some juice?
It’ll take a stick of dynamite
to blast the critter loose!
~~~
Long after everyone
has slumbered off to sleep,
Mama gets up silently—
an appointment she must keep.
She tiptoes to the bathroom—
no one must ever know
that in the quiet of the night,
she thinks that she can go!
So she sits in queenly splendor
with a smile upon her face.
It’s only then she notices . . .
there’s not a piece of paper in the place!
By Bonnie Turner
